West Virginia University will open against the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers, this Sat. Sept. 4th. The first nationally televised home game is on ESPNU on Saturday Sept. 18th against the Maryland Terrapins. When that day comes, the television crews will descend on Morgantown. They will show our wonderful stadium, beautiful campus, and great team to the nation. They will do a pre-game show and talk about the upcoming battle with Maryland. It will be a typical college pre-game right up to the kick off. But while all that is going on, they will be doing something else. Something devious. The Television Director, whomever he may be, will instruct his crew to play "Find the Hillbilly". It happens every year. And it doesn't matter which network is televising the game. It has become a certainty. Sometime during the game, they will zoom the cameras in on a hillbilly. They will settle for a redneck if need be, but they really want a hillbilly. He will have a scruffy beard and semi-toothless grin. He'll be wearing a flannel shirt, hunting jacket and pants. And an Elmer Fudd hat. And with our luck, he'll be beating his kids and screaming at his wife because Noel Devine just fumbled the ball. Actually, he'll probably be standing next to his friend Jethro. Jethro will be wearing old faded jeans, boots, a WVU T-shirt with his gut hanging out of it, and a baseball cap that says " Naked Twister, where everyone is a winner." Once the camera hits them, the color commentator will say something like: "Boy the West Virginia faithful really come out in droves to support their team". That statement is true. The West Virginia faithful do come out in droves to support the Mountaineers. And it is wonderful that the citizens of West Virginia support our team the way that they do.
However, I was born in West Virginia. I am a proud WVU alumnus. And I have attended hundreds of WVU home games. And I can never seem to find these hillbillies that the television cameras find. OK, not true, I have found them. I am not going to pretend that they don't exist. But when I do find them, they stand out from the crowd. And that's the point.
My friends here in DC will read this and say "Oh come on Tim, there are hundreds of hillbillies at your games. It's West Virginia!" The fact is, WVU has fans and alumni from all over the country that attend those games. And the vast majority of the fans that are from West Virginia do not dress or act any differently than the rest of the fan base. Most are wearing WVU apparel, or at least blue and gold clothing. But the television director always finds the guy who drove his family up from the holler* to attend the game. They look for the Elmer Fudd hat.
Actually, you can find hillbillies at a lot of games in the Big East, and most of the games in the ACC. And I know you can find them at games in the SEC; Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina. Especially South Carolina. Do you think a hillbilly is going to pass on the chance to yell "You can't beat our Cocks!!" in public? I am also sure they attend games in Conference USA, and the MAC Conference. But I watch those games, and never see them. They are there, but I never see them. I see cheerleaders, fans, marching bands, kids, player's parents, students, but not hillbillies. Because in the eyes of the television director, hillbillies only attend WVU games. And they don't even know if Jethro and his friend are from West Virginia. OK, they probably are. But they could be from Southern Pennsylvania, or Western Maryland, both of which have plenty of hillbillies, and aren't far from Morgantown. If I had to pick one, it would be Western Maryland. I know, I am doing a little wishful thinking here. Ninety nine percent chance they are both from West Virginia.
Our Mascot was originally a hillbilly. Seventy years ago this year our mascot, the beloved Mountaineer, was created. The Mountaineer was originally a moonshine carrying, bib overall wearing, weed chewing hillbilly. Now the Mountaineer is a buck skin wearing, coonskin capped, musket wielding, Daniel Boone type character. Our Mountaineer was just named number 8 in a list of the 12 Coolest Mascots in College Football by the Associated Press. The Mountaineer changed over the years, because we changed over the years. The Mountaineer